Living in Holland

A very close friend of mine posted an interesting story on her blog and I wanted to share it. It is a great analogy for having a child that isn't "normal." It really makes a lot of sense and may help people to understand what the experience is like.

by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this:

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans: the Coliseum, Michelangelo's David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills – and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy ... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you many never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

This just made perfect sense and I could totally relate! I even read it out loud to my husband and got a little choked up! It is a very interesting journey to say the least! But I would not trade it in for another child, Owen is so amazing and he is the person he is because of everything he has and will endure. Sometimes it is easy to get overwhelmed and frustrated but tonight when I was rocking him to sleep it was clear to me how lucky we are to have such an amazing little man.

Owen is getting better from his cold that I gave him:( He is still a bit congested but he is still as active as ever!!! It seems that he loves to climb on EVERYTHING, even us:) He is close to walking as well. He will take a step and then fall to the ground to crawl. I think he does this on purpose because we always watch, holding our breath in anticipation:) I just hope he starts to get back into the routine of putting himself to sleep. As much as I love rocking him and cuddling, it is time consuming and I do not want him to get used to it. He does so well on his own so hopefully this will pass with the cold. I really am enjoying the cuddlebear Owen!

Well, we are getting closer to our trip and I am getting more and more excited! We will spend time with some friends before we leave and then Sunday is the big packing day:)

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